Apologize
by TennySmithy-MyBoys
Summary: What will happen when Remus rejects Sirius again? Will Sirius try again, or finally give up? Mostly R/S but a little, VERY little J/L. Read&Review PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

ry I haven't been writing lately, schools been keeping me preoccupied with test studying and after school programs, and reading that stupid book you have to read for getting your permit. I wish there was an easier way to get your permit. Anyways, I hope you like this, I know that it's another Remus/Sirius story, I'm trying to create a story of other characters, I'm thinking of writing a story with Fred and George. I love those two :D

Please read and respond. I love critics and I love complements, so either one is fine with me. Thank You!

I own nothing.

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><p>Remus was talking to me again, but I wasn't paying attention. Actually I couldn't pay attention. I never could with Remus, I tried the best that I could but it never worked, he was too cute for me to stop watching and thinking about. The way he talked was mesmerizing, his lips moved in the most perfect way, his voice sounded like silk, and his teeth were the most perfect white. His eyes were something else too, big and round, easy to fall into to, and the most brilliant shade of amber that sparkled and shined at the lights of the candles. His hair, falling every so often into his face, was a most beautiful soft sun-streaked, light brown color.<p>

"Sirius are you even listening to me?" Remus asked. I looked up into his questioning eyes.

"Wh-what, yeah of course."

"Then what did I just say." I thought for a second then decided to be a smart ass.

"Then what did I just say." he smirked.

"Fine. I'll give you that one." I smiled while he sat down next to me. I got a whiff of him, and I was taken away again. My only thoughts were of a boy who smelled of old musty books, a slight hint of ink, and a strong scent of chocolate. He couldn't keep doing this to me, I thought for about the millionth time. It's our third year at Hogwarts, and I've had been thinking of Remus more than a friend for about two years now.

Remus made himself more comfortable, leaning closer and resting his head on my shoulder, while reading the book he had taken out. I made an internal sigh, Remus would constantly change his mind about his feelings for me. It killed me, sometimes he would say he liked me and we would be just about to hook up, then he would say he couldn't and that he didn't like me anymore. Right now he liked me, he hadn't said it yet, but I'm afraid for when he does, once he does he'll break my heart just like always.

He had me on his rope, and he knew it. He knew how much I loved him, how I would do anything, for him. He would constantly make me do things for him just because he knew I would. James knew about this and tried to convince Remus to stop messing with me, but it didn't work too well, he just stopped doing as much.

I don't know what I'm going to do once Remus breaks my heart again. I don't think I'll be able to survive again. I just don't understand, he knows I like him, and I know he likes me, and we're perfect for each other, so why does he keep denying it. Am I just not good enough for him, I could understand that, I'm not exactly the best person for a relationship. I have a horrible family who I could never tell them about Remus, and I'm not so much of a sweet guy, though for Remus I would try the best of my abilities to do that. Actually I would try my best to be anything Remus wants me to be, as long as I had him.

"I'm going to go to bed, alright?" I nodded hypnotically, not really paying attention to what was going on. I was too into my thoughts. But once I felt the warmth leave my body from where Remus was sitting I awoke from my trans.

"Where you going?" I asked sadly.

"I told you Sirius, I'm going to bed."

"Oh, alright then, I guess I will too." he smiled and then let it fall, turned around and started walking. I was frozen in my seat. One of the first signs of him about to break my heart. What was I suppose to do now.

"Sirius, you coming up?"

"N-no, I decided I wanted to stay down here a bit more. You go on up without me." I felt my heart drop when he turned back around and headed up the stairs. Not even wondering why I decided to stay down here, not bothering to say goodnight.

What could I do to keep Remus from breaking my heart again. I'd have to do something different. Maybe I should do something really nice, and out of the way, something that will make him feel better. If I did everything right, maybe he wont change his mind. I fell asleep, wondering what exactly I would do.

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><p>"Sirius, what are we doing?" Remus kept asking me this while I led him to where I was going to make sure his mind stayed on liking me.<p>

"You'll see. You'll love it." we reached the entrance to a secret tunnel leading to Honey Dukes. "Just through this tunnel and we'll be there, alright?"

"Ok, but where are we going?" Remus sounded a bit hesitant.

"A place you love." I took out my wand and pointed it at the entrance to the secret passage. I mumbled a spell and it opened. We entered and both lit up our wand. After about five minutes of walking Remus started complaining.

"Sirius, how much longer?"

"Not to far Remus. Just hold in there we'll be there soon." about ten more minutes went by and we finally made it to our destination.

"Oh my god Sirius, it smells amazing. Where are we?" I looked at Remus quizzically.

"How can you smell that, I don't smell anything." In the soft glow from our wands I could see a faint blush appear on his cheeks.

"I-I just have a very good nose."

"Weird." I paused, looking at him and how look anywhere but at me. "Any ways, right up here." I opened the top of the trap door and went up, Remus following close behind.

"Merlin's Sirius, this smells wonderful. You have to tell me where we are."

"Wait, we're still not exactly where we're suppose to be. Come on." I grabbed his hand hesitantly and guided him to the front of the store.

"Si-Sirius, are we in, Honey Dukes?" he looked around wide eyed.

"Mm-hmm." Remus let go of my hand and walked around looking at everything, and smelling the air.

"You're a bit early." Remus yelped and turned around while I smiled up at the owner who was now standing right next to me.

"It was either be early or late, we couldn't have been able to get away to be on time."

"Well it doesn't matter. So I presume you're Remus." Remus nodded his head slowly and then looked at me, then back to the owner. "I'm the owner, Charles Baker. You are welcomed to take anything you want. Sirius, you know what to do but if you need anything I'll be up in my chambers." he left with a nod towards both of us and then disappeared.

"Sirius, what's going on?"

"We're in Honey Dukes. You can get anything you want without buying it. Charles is a friend of my family, so I get anything from Dukes for free." I lied at the last part, I actually already paid Charles. I paid enough for one of everything, Remus had this thing with us buying him stuff. We knew he wasn't the richest person, but when ever we tried to buy him something he wouldn't allow it, he wanted to look like he was independent I guess, but this way he would never know. I looked at Remus to see him staring at me with an expression I knew all too well. My heart dropped.

"Sirius," I took a breath, looked down, before he could start I spoke up.

"Remus, please don't. I need you. I can't take another rejection from you. What is it? What can I do to make you mine? Can't you see that we're perfect for each other. Remus, I am one hundred percent in love with you. Why is it that you can't be with me? Why do you keep shying away from something that's suppose to happen. You know it's suppose to happen, but you just, walk away. What can I do Remus?" I was begging him but he wasn't looking at me, meaning nothing I was saying was going in.

"Sirius, I just, can't. I can't tell you why, but it just will never work. I'm sorry, but we can't." he walked by me and back to the trap door, leaving me behind in Honey Dukes.

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><p>"Sirius Black where have you been?" I was in the dorm, having went straight there during lunch. I had spent the night and day after the rejection in the kitchen, hiding from anyone who was looking for me. During lunch, when I knew everyone would be eating I snuck up to my room, unfortunately James, Peter, and Remus weren't in the Great Hall but in the dorm. Now James was staring at me with piercing eyes, trying to figure out where I've been. Peter was behind James, curious about where I've been but not really caring, and Remus was sitting on his bed, reading a book and every so often looking up with an expression of sorrow and defeat.<p>

"I've been around. Why?" I asked, not really caring. I wasn't looking at anyone, especially Remus.

"Why? Why?" James was starting to sound like my mother. I don't even know why James' so angry, its not like I did anything bad. "Sirius, the teachers have noticed, there going to be questioning you like crazy tomorrow. You missed a detention, and I needed you to prank Snape with me, and." he stopped, grabbed my arm and guided me into the bathroom. "and, Remus is depressed or something, and won't talk to anyone. What did you do?" my anger flared at the question.

"Me? What did I do?" my voice was raising and I knew that Remus would be able to hear everything I said but I didn't care anymore. My heart had been broken too many times for me to care any more. "I didn't do anything James. Remus is the one to blame. I tried, oh did I try. I did my best to be a good person, to do something nice. And what did I get in return? Another rejection. I'm surprised I'm not like my mother right now because I've got no heart left in me. It's been broken way too many times and I'm done James. No longer do I care about anything. I'm done with life, I'm done with love, I see no point in anything anymore."

"Sirius don't say that."

"Why not, it's the truth. It's the way I feel, James. You don't understand, I can't deal with this anymore I need to get away or I'll never be sane ever again. I just, I can't deal with it, and I won't be able to live in this dorm any more." at that I bolted from the bathroom, out the dorm room and out of Gryffindor tower.


	2. Chapter 2

So this chapter has a quick James pov, then a quick Lily pov. There's a bit Lily/James going on, but nothing too big, just a little. Hope you like it. Again, please Read&Review, I would love it.

(Quick James pov)

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><p>"Remus, you have to talk to him." Sirius had just done something I never would have thought, but I knew I had to fix everything. Of course, I won't be the one talking to Sirius, but I'm going to be the one to make sure what needs to be done will happen.<p>

"I don't want to."

"Damn it Remus, quite being stubborn. You're the reason that little outburst just happened. You have to talk to Sirius rather you want to or not. He's you're best friend, and you love him."

"I do not love him." Remus looked up from his book, anger spilling out of his eyes. "I tried to be nice in rejecting him, I tried not to make a scene. Sirius though went and took it too far, making a scene. What Sirius did wasn't my fault, he just needs to learn how to calm down and not take things so badly."

"Are you kidding me? Remus, that was all your fault."

"It was not. I didn't ask for Sirius to make a scene."

"But you should have figured he would do something like that."

"Why?"

"Merlin's Remus, because you guys love each other and yet you reject him."

Remus shut his book loudly and stood up standing right in front of me. "I. Do. Not. Like. Sirius." and he stormed out. I just sat there dumb founded. What is with Remus. Everyone knows that he loves Sirius, so why is he rejecting Sirius so much?

"What do we do now?" Peter asked.

"Stay here, I've got a plain." I walked down to the common room and to the girls stair case. "Lily. Lily. Lily I know you can hear me. Please come down this is very important." I waited and nothing happened. "Lily please. It's not about you and me, it's about Remus."

"I'll be right down." I scowled. Why does she come down when it's about Remus and not me. "What is it?"

"Why don't you like me?" she huffed.

"I thought you said it was about Remus." she started heading back up the stairs.

"Wait, it is, sorry, I was just wondering. Um, I think we should sit." I walked over to the sofa's and she did too, a little more weary. "Well, let's see, you know about Remus and Sirius right?" she nodded. "Sirius, just got rejected again, and he had a outburst. And I know you don't care about Sirius, but you care about Remus. And Remus is, for some reason, denying that he loves Sirius, and he's not going to fix what happened, and if he doesn't Remus won't be happy, and Sirius won't be happy, and well, I'm afraid to say it but, Sirius might not even, well, let's just say he's not caring about his life any more."

Lily looked at James with some sympathy. "What do you want me to do?" James couldn't help but smile at the thought of Lily helping him.

"It's very simple. I tried talking to Remus, but it didn't turn out well. And you're probably closest to Remus than any one else besides Sirius. I was hoping you could talk to him, and convince him of his feelings, and try to make things right between him and Sirius."

Lily smiled. "Of course. You know James. You're alright sometimes. I thought that you were just someone who loves to break rules and be a, well, a prick. But you have great loyalty towards you're friends, and I like that." she got up and left the common room. I just sat there frozen with what just happened. She just said she liked me. I, I'm liked by Lily. I gave a whoop of happiness then ran back to my dorm to tell Sirius, only remembering that he wasn't there.

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><p>(Quick Lily pov.)<p>

I walked over to Remus, who was sitting in a corner in the library, reading a book upside down. "Interesting?" I asked, pointing to the book."

"What, oh, yeah, it's very interesting."

"What's it about?"

"Oh, you know, wizard things." I rolled my eyes.

"You do know it's upside down right?" he looked at the book, then turned it right side up blushing. I sighed. "Remus, we need to talk."

"I don't want to. Besides, it's none of your business so just leave me alone." he looked back to his book. I sat down in front of him, took the book out of his hand, and looked him straight in the eyes.

"We need to talk. I heard what happened with Sirius. You have to talk to him Remus. You can't stop denying these feelings you have for him. They're there and you know it. Why do you keep pushing them away?"

"Because I don't have feelings for Sirius." Remus' anger was starting to flare. It was weird, I've never seen Remus really angry before, it was sort of scary.

"Remus, stop it. You have feelings for Sirius, you always have, you've told me, and you've told Sirius, and James. You've even kissed Sirius."

"That doesn't mean anything, Sirius and I were both drunk."

"Remus, drunk people do what they want to do. They don't just do random things, it's what they want to do."

"I don't care, I don't have feelings for Sirius." now my anger was starting to come out. I don't understand how guys can be so pig-headed sometimes.

"Remus, I know that you like him, no, I take that back, I know that you love Sirius. I also know that right now, all you're thinking about is Sirius. You feel horrible about rejecting Sirius, you feel horrible that Sirius is feeling the way that he is. And all you want to do right now, is go comfort Sirius. The thing I don't understand though, is why you're not doing it. What is making you shy away from him? What is making you feel like you can't be with Sirius?"

"Because I can't. It will never work out. I'm too, I'm not right for him."

"Remus, you're perfect for him. He's perfect for you. I don't believe you. Tell me why you don't want to be with him."

"Because of who I am alright. Because I'm not who I tell everyone I am." I looked at him, then I looked around the library. There were a couple people still around. I grabbed Remus' arm and pulled him out of the library and into an empty classroom.

"What do you mean, I'm not who I tell everyone I am? Remus, I don't understand."

"I'm not human ok. I'm not a wizard. Not a pure wizard at least."

"Well everyone knows that you're a half-blood. But why does that matter, I'm Muggle born."

He shook his head. "No, no, that's not what I mean. I mean that I'm, well I'm." he stopped and thought for a second. "I'm not a pure breed as people say it. I'm a mixed breed, a mutt. Someone who's not a pure human." I looked at him for a while, contemplating on how to respond.

"R-Remus. Are you trying to tell me you're a," I whispered, "a werewolf." he bowed his head. I looked at him wide-eyed. "How come you never told me. And you never told James, Sirius, and Peter. They're you best friends."

"I know, they're the only friends I have now. I had you, but. I want to keep them, and if I go out with Sirius, he'll find out, and then he'll be disgusted with me, and he'll never want to look at me again, and I can't deal with that. I'd rather not have him then have him for a little while and then never see him again."

"Remus, listen to me, and listen to me well. No matter what happens between you two, Sirius will always love you. I know he will. I've seen the way he looks at you. He's not in love with you, he's obsessed with you, he needs you like he needs air to breath. He's suffered two years of rejection and he still comes back for another chance. He won't leave no matter what."

"You don't know that." he looked down again and I took his chin, making his eyes meet mine.

"Yes, I do. I know that Sirius needs you more than anything else in this world. That if he ever looses you, he might as well be lost too. I know that if I'm fine with you being a werewolf, Sirius will perfect with it. Now go find him, and tell him you love him." Remus nodded, a little scared, and confused at what just happened but left anyways. I chuckled when he was out of the room. "Took you long enough to tell me." I muttered under my breath. Now, I wonder how long it will take him to tell James, Sirius, and Peter.


	3. Chapter 3

Alright, we're back to Sirius pov. This is the last chapter, hope you like the ending, I was having trouble with it, trying to decide if I wanted a happy ending or a sad ending, or a questioning ending. Anyways, read&respond if you want to because I would really like if you did. Thank You!

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><p>I messed up big time. How could I have been so stupid. I love Remus, no matter how many times I tell myself and anyone else for that matter, I love him, and I always will. No matter how much I wish it didn't matter, that I was over him, I'm never going to be, he'll always be the person I love.<p>

So here I am. Sitting on the edge of the pond, wishing I could take everything I said in the bathroom back. Wishing I could change Remus' mind. I picked up a rock and threw it into the pond. What was the point, how could I have ever thought Remus would want me. With the family I have, the way I act, I'm nothing near to being perfect or being similar to Remus, we have few similar interests and nothing in common. He was a quiet book worm who hated doing pranks, breaking the rules, and making fun of anyone. I was a load mouth, never doing my school work, rule breaking, prankster who loves making fun of people. How could I ever have thought Remus would like me?

"This seat taken?" I whipped around and saw a shy boy point to the ground right next to me. I nodded and he sat down. We sat there in silence for awhile. "Look Sirius, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just, well, I don't know how to explain it Sirius, but, I'm just," he sighed. "I'm rambling that's what I'm doing. Look, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you believe me right." he looked me right into my eyes, and I started to melt. I took a deep breath and got my composer back.

"Remus, I'm sorry but it's too late to apologize. You have to understand, I waited, and I gave you more than a second chance, but every time you turned away."

"I know Sirius, and I blame myself for it all. It just, it took me awhile to figure out myself and why I was doing all of this. Please, give me one more chance, I understand now that what we have could be something amazing. Please." He grabbed my arm and started crying. "Please Sirius, please, I want us to be something, I screwed up big time, but if you just give me a chance I can make it up, I can be everything you want me to be and more. Please Sirius."

"Remus, please stop crying. I can't take it when you cry, you know that. Remus please." I grabbed his chin and guided him up to my face. "Remus, it's alright, just please stop crying." he sniffed and wiped his eyes away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start crying like that. I guess I just became over whelmed with everything going on between us, I didn't know how to handle it, and then I just couldn't stop crying and, oh god, you must think I'm crazy or something, and how could you ever like me anymore, I'm crying like a girl and keep rejecting you. Merlin's I'm such a prick."

"Hey, you're not a prick, and I don't want to hear you say that ever. You are perfect, no matter what you do, or who you are. I'll give you another chance, but why? Why did you keep rejecting me Remus. I need to know."

"I, I, I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't Sirius."

"Why? Why don't you trust me, why can't you tell me? What ever it is, I don't care, I love you Remus, I don't look at your flaws, I look at who you are and love every bit of it."

"Sirius, please, I'm begging you."

"Remus, I don't think I could be with you if I know there's something you're keeping from me."

"How-how about I promise that I'll tell you later?"

"I don't know. How do I know you'll keep that promise."

"You can trust me. I promise that I'll tell you, but just not today, and not anytime soon. Sirius, I-I love you too, and I don't think I could make it through my Hogwarts years knowing that I was close enough to be with you but because of this it never happened. I promise, and if I should break this promise, I hope I die. I promise that I will tell you anything and everything that you want to know, but you have to give me time to tell you this one thing. Please Sirius, it's the only thing I'm asking of you."

I sighed, knowing that I trust Remus. "Don't say that. I never want to here you say you hope to die. And I trust you, I will always trust you." Remus smiled a weak smile and looked me straight in the eyes. Oh what I would do to kiss him right now, I thought, I couldn't help but grin stupidly as my mind wandered to other places. As I looked back at Remus, I saw him look at me, weary, and I laughed.

"Do you trust me?" I asked. Remus' eyes widened a little worried about what I might be thinking.

"Yes." he said slowly.

"Then hold still." I moved in slowly watching his expression as he figured out what I was doing. At first his eyes showed confusion, then fear. I stopped, fear wasn't an expression I wanted to see. "I'm sorry, it's too early, too fast." I moved away and looked anywhere but Remus, pouting a little. I felt a hand touch my arm, startled I looked at Remus, who in turn was looking was at me with an expression I've never seen. Before I had a chance to figure it out though Remus' lips were on mine, and the only thing I could think of was how amazing he tasted. Just like chocolate with a little bit of everything else. It was perfect, and right then, I knew Remus' would be the only one I could love.


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